• One cup of Twinings vanilla & coconut tea.


• One bag of Toblerone mini chocolates.


• Five Firefox tabs with websites regarding C++ libraries and applied fractal geometry.


• Eight Firefox tabs with information on company profiles and organigrams, management tips and websites of organizations related to company indexing according to various criteria.


• One OpenOffice Writer document autosaving itself every 10 minutes, even if it hasn’t changed for the last couple of hours.


• Three archived folders with book scans related to the above mentioned company stuff.

Required:

• Project sketch for the first chapter finished by 22 o’clock.


• Some general idea about the whole project structure.


• Going to bed at 22:30 or 23 o’clock at most.

Current state:

• Staring aimlessly and hopelessly.


• Yawning, overcome with boredom.


• Feeling like reading some more classical literature.


• A general wth-ish feeling.

Solutions:

• ?!

We love them, and yet we couldn’t say how much or why exactly, but merely because things just fit into place. We love them, and yet we can’t share it with them, hoping however that they have long since understood it, the same way we understand them when they say something that makes no sense and yet we can find meaning in it.

Thus, for split seconds, we can forget that they are phantasms… and actually allow ourselves to dream.

Obsessive song of the day: Lara Fabian – The Dream Within.

And your head feels like it’s spinning too fast, and your eyes hurt and can’t take it, while your mind feels like it’s been stepped over by the rails of a tank. And your heart – writhing like a fish out of water, no more than a couple of spasms – now lies broken.

You cared too much, again.

Obsessive song of the day: Coma – Morphine.

A vast silence reigned over the land. The land itself was a desolation, lifeless, without movement, so lone and cold that the spirit of it was not even that of sadness. There was a hint in it of laughter, but of a laughter more terrible than any sadness – a laughter that was mirthless as the smile of the Sphinx, a laughter cold as the frost and partaking of the grimness of infallibility. It was the masterful and incommunicable wisdom of eternity laughing at the futility of life and the effort of life. It was the Wild, the savage, frozen-hearted Northland Wild…

[...]

It was like a trap, and all his instinct resented it and revolted against it. It was a mad revolt. For several minutes he was to all intents insane. The basic life that was in him took charge of him. The will to exist of his body surged over him. He was dominated by this mere flesh-love of life. All intelligence was gone. It was as though he had no brain. His reason was unseated by the blind yearning of the flesh to exist and move, at all hazards to move, to continue to move, for movement was the expression of its existence.

(Jack London – White Fang)

Stars fall, stars die, stars get born… and we follow our own patterns, taking proud and graceful steps on the ways we uncover ahead.

Obsessive song of the day: Juno Reactor – Masters of the Universe.

She knew you, just as you knew her. And suddenly words were obsolete, while waves of feelings started to flood a dried out organism. Get reborn with them, through them, alongside them.

I present a time of destruction. There is misfortune in the stars, the sky is lost and the sea is frozen over. The circles of life which allowed both man and nature to flourish have all but stopped. The main players of our story have long since left the stage. We hang in anticipation for the inevitable final curtain. And yet, even at this late hour, traces of the great circle remain – the circle of life only continues because you exist. We wait to see the fate of the last survivors of this world for, if you perish, perception is removed and existence comes to an end. An universe without perception is much like an enormous stack of books, forever unopened and unread. To survive this darkness, the universe has thrust itself into the next phase of its life cycle. Can’t you hear the pulse of the awakening?

The white noise that beats within the white darkness is the rhythm of life, it is that pulse which never truly left the stage…

Ergo Proxy

Stop reading the blog. Leave, move on, read Google News or Ctrl+Alt+Del, do something worth your while and never ever turn back here, please.

And, as time flows backwards in the hourglass, floating on the wings of the shifty night breeze, you let yourself fade in their embrace and start dancing to their tune…

Obsessive song of the day: Shpongle – Once Upon the Sea of Blissful Awareness.

It starts raining outside, with drops that do not come to wash away, to purify and to deliver, but to mourn. We hate rain because it carries discomfort and pain in its tears, we never let our soul dive into the tiny drops and experience its ultimate freedom. Thus, the rain mourns for our loss of perfection, while we grow small and miserable trying to take cover from it.

Smile, move along… and let us show you how beautiful the rainbows manufactured in icy labs can be.

Obsessive song of the day: Samael – Rain.