Her words could have as well come from your lips, while her mind was so much like yours that it was almost funny to notice. And in her eyes, you could read the same dried oceans and the same warmth hidden deep inside, struggling to resurface above the self defensive icy barriers.

She knew you, just as you knew her. And suddenly words were obsolete, while waves of feelings started to flood a dried out organism. Get reborn with them, through them, alongside them.

Categories: Nonsense
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I am nobody. Even if I was somebody, I am beyond your comprehension. And even if you could, you would not have the tools to express that knowledge. I do not belong to the world. That is the limit, the boundary between all and self.

I present a time of destruction. There is misfortune in the stars, the sky is lost and the sea is frozen over. The circles of life which allowed both man and nature to flourish have all but stopped. The main players of our story have long since left the stage. We hang in anticipation for the inevitable final curtain. And yet, even at this late hour, traces of the great circle remain – the circle of life only continues because you exist. We wait to see the fate of the last survivors of this world for, if you perish, perception is removed and existence comes to an end. An universe without perception is much like an enormous stack of books, forever unopened and unread. To survive this darkness, the universe has thrust itself into the next phase of its life cycle. Can’t you hear the pulse of the awakening?

The white noise that beats within the white darkness is the rhythm of life, it is that pulse which never truly left the stage…

Ergo Proxy

Categories: Thoughts
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Because a few days ago I received certain comments regarding my blog posts, that I should stop writing my “nonsense” and start doing something useful instead, and because those comment addresses have from now on been marked as spam, there’s an answer I’d like to give.

Stop reading the blog. Leave, move on, read Google News or Ctrl+Alt+Del, do something worth your while and never ever turn back here, please.

Categories: Thoughts
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It is the symphony that the sea waves compose while bathed in moonlight that make your eyes bleed with passion. It’s the same primordial water that unites you, with the daring crystals of salt that gleam away all the bitter thoughts.

And, as time flows backwards in the hourglass, floating on the wings of the shifty night breeze, you let yourself fade in their embrace and start dancing to their tune…

Obsessive song of the day: Shpongle – Once Upon the Sea of Blissful Awareness.

Categories: Nonsense
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We love spring because we feel alive again, with fresh energies flowing through our veins, with fires burning in our eyes. But what happens when spring settles over a graveyard, and the only life that blooms are the weeds that entangle the dead?

It starts raining outside, with drops that do not come to wash away, to purify and to deliver, but to mourn. We hate rain because it carries discomfort and pain in its tears, we never let our soul dive into the tiny drops and experience its ultimate freedom. Thus, the rain mourns for our loss of perfection, while we grow small and miserable trying to take cover from it.

Smile, move along… and let us show you how beautiful the rainbows manufactured in icy labs can be.

Obsessive song of the day: Samael – Rain.

Categories: Nonsense
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Take a walk through a cathedral. Let your sight caress the cold stone while your tears will compensate with heat.

Sink into prayer, sink into mantras, sink into curses, sink into oblivion. Abysses enshroud, abysses entangle, abysses engulf…

Abysses deliver.

Obsessive song of the day: Pink Floyd – High Hopes.

Categories: Nonsense
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They say that ignorance is bliss and that they lose their pain bit by bit with each bottom of glass they reach, that it’s all easier once you dive in and let yourself drawn in and drown without feeling anything but calm, sinking into round circles of colourful smoke and jingling bottles of abandon and artificial joy…

They say that once there was a seven-headed goddess who had a different creature for each head and who gave away each and every one of her wild minds in order to experience humanity, but then withered away because they never told her the human mind was too simple to grasp all her feelings…

Show her a way and she will follow it, small steps taken one in a thousand years. Give her sand through her fingers and she will grow you an ocean, place tree roots on her path and she will climb mountains, tease her with ashes and she will rekindle ancient fires, grow her wings… and she will fall at your feet.

There was once a seven-headed goddess who was happy for a second. And then the liqueurs they were praising failed her.

Obsessive song of the day: Elend – A Staggering Moon.

Categories: Nonsense
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They had been gone in foreign corners of the hovering worlds, in new places, three powerful gods in denial of their powers. They were returning home defeated, forsaken, lost, each to whom could still recall their names.

One of them returned to me with eyes grey with grief and carrying on his shoulders a weight heavier than thoughts could bear. Tired, breathing slowly, abandoned himself in arms that could still feel their essence by means of pure faith and hands that were still able to soothe the pain. His eyes began glowing crimson as vengeful harbingers of the disease, scarred by the too much misery they have witnessed, ghostly holograms of what they once were.

He blinked for a split second – not an abyss, but a mirror so magnificent, victorious and powerful once more… then died in my arms.

Obsessive song of the day: VNV Nation – Rubicon.

Categories: Nonsense
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Round and round, ever inwards… ever descending.

Look back, think of the people that left a mark on your lifetime – a thin line, little segments, fancy images and lots of notes stashed away in an imaginary carton box of memories. You kissed them in silent moments of gratitude, you crumpled them when the hatred was too overwhelming and burned them when despair was devouring your very mind.

Look at yourself now and identify those patterns inside you, in your way of behaving, in your way of treating the other elements and beings with whom you interact. Discover them with amazement, with joy, with skepticism. With closed eyes. And acknowledge them, and respect them for what they are by never taking them for granted.

Round and round, ever outwards… ever ascending.

Categories: Nonsense
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Offering advice seems to be one of those things that have a funny tendency of developing and spreading almost like a chain reaction.

While in a local supermarket, looking at some rather green bananas, I found myself suddenly showered with all sorts of tips and tricks on how to ripen them at home. First, a lady told me that they must be wrapped or put on newspaper (I didn’t get that part quite well, I wasn’t really paying any attention to the people around me). Then, a second one said that they must be placed near a window, or in a place with more light. Even before she finished saying that and while I was smiling awkwardly and trying to offer my thanks, a third one interfered to tell me that what the previous lady said was true, but that by no means should I put them out on the balcony, because the room must be warm.

I thanked them almost unnoticed, as they passionately continued their conversation on topics such as efficient ways of warming their homes, the cold outside, the prices and the quality of the products and so on and so forth.

I picked a bunch of bananas and made my way as quickly as possible to pay for them, slightly amused by the fact that – no offense or disrespect meant – I love my bananas a bit green and pretty much dislike them when they’re all yellow and ripe and too sweet.

Categories: Thoughts
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I’ve got back to Bucharest after my ever-too-short winter holiday to see a white city, all covered with snow, waves of wintry white flowing and growing and swallowing all the former ugliness away. And it keeps on snowing. I know about the heavy traffic conditions, the extremely cold temperatures and all the other problems, but this time I don’t care. This time, I want to go back in time and enjoy the laughters, the jingles, the snowballs, the snowmen, the snowhouses, all the gifts, the mittens, the scarves, the wool socks, the effort of carrying the sled three floors up, the few minutes spent in front of the door with my parents brushing all the snow away from me and laughing and saying that it can’t be me, it must be a snowman…

I’ve got two more weeks of uni till the exam session starts. Unlike most of the other people, I have to do my best during these weeks and get high grades, so that instead of that exam session I can have my proper winter holiday… for a month. Work, work, work.

My cats have grown fat and furry in their winter “coats”, still lazy, still easily scared, still sleeping in the spaces that form between my head and my shoulders and still play like mad with the tiny laser point thingie.

And… I’ve started playing World of Warcraft a few months ago, which is – for whomever wonders and aside from uni – one of the main reasons this blog has been shamelessly neglected lately.

Happy New Year!

Categories: Thoughts
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